Long Time, No Post

Its been much too long since the last time I wrote. My apologies. I'll try to update more regularly. My goal is to write every day, but needless to say, we've seen that get a little difficult. Life itself is extracurricular right now. Today is my day off from one of my jobs, and I don't work until this evening, so since I was up so early today, (doctor's appointment) I'm somewhat at a loss of what to do right now. I usually wake up around this time if I closed the night before. Sad part is, I only got three hours of sleep last night.

Somehow, though, I'm in a wonderful mood. I despise getting up early, and I woke up at 7. Doctor's offices irritate me, and I left there in the same high spirits as when I walked in. Its a welcome change. I've been in a rotten mood for the past week. Who knew today would be so great, so much for the rainy day theories!

I guess you could blame my good mood on the fact that some of my family from NV just moved down to live with us. Its like "Cheaper By The Dozen" in here; 4 parents, me (being that awkward stage between teen and adult), 3 teenagers, 1 preteen, and 2 adorable little kiddies =) Add 3 Labs, 2 Chiweenies (heh heh heh) and one hamster to the mix, and you've got a full house. Its so wonderful though. Being around family just makes me so happy.

Spiritually, I'm in a bit of a desert. I'm desperate for God's guidance and fire, but for some reason, I just feel dry inside. I know firsthand from times before, that God does this to draw me closer to Him, but sometimes I just wish it could be like this holy shockwave. In times like this, I feel that God simply wants me to seek Him not because I have to or because I'm scared or hurting, but just simply because I want to out of love and desire for him.

I am, however, in complete awe of how God takes incidents and heartbreaks in my life, and uses what he has taught me through them to help those around me. If you have been a follower of this blog since June, you know my story pertaining to me and my ex, why I left, what God has taught me through it, etc. Two months later, almost to the day, a friend of mine confided in me about a relationship that she was in, and she felt like it was falling apart. She told me her story, and, almost to a tee, it is exactly like mine. I was able to give her advice that I knew for sure and for certain would be best for her, and I was able to give her hope in her situation, because hey, I survived it =)

So that's what God is doing in my life right now. Sorry for the length between updates, I promise to be more diligent =)

Random Update - Too Busy to Write =(

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Ruth - Part 3

I swear, I will never have a normal sleeping schedule. I was exhausted after work today, and all I know is that it was light outside when I fell asleep, and woke up at 11pm. Needless to say, the odds of me getting a decent night's sleep tonight are slim to none. I'm almost tempted to have a cup of coffee and stay up all night to clean and organize.

Also, please pray for my grandmother (Nanny) because she is having surgery tomorrow.

Ruth Chapter 3

Synopsis: At this point in the story, Naomi can finally see the hope of a future for herself and Ruth. But this hope lies in Ruth's coming actions. She tells Ruth to seek Boaz out, and lie at his feet as he sleeps. When he awakes, she tells him that he is her kinsman redeemer. This awakens responsibility in Boaz's heart, though he knows that there is a kinsman redeemer. Short and sweet, he tells Ruth that he will find the closer kinsman redeemer and if the other man cannot fulfill his responsibilities as kinsman redeemer and marry Ruth, Boaz vows that he will. He also sends Ruth home with a shawl full of grain, so she would have something to bring home to Naomi. When Ruth returns home, Naomi is still filled with hope.

Going Deeper: There are a few things to clarify about this passage. The idea of going to lay at a man's feet as he sleeps is well, quite a strange thought in today's day and age. However, the intentions of Ruth, Naomi and Boaz, just to clarify, are completely pure in this situation. A lot of this passage is old Hebrew culture, such as when Ruth asks Boaz to cover her with the corner of his garment (verse 9). This was, and still is, a middle eastern request for marriage. It can also be translated as to protect someone under one's wings.

There is one verse that jumped out at me over the others. Sadly, this verse nearly gets lost in the passage, but it is the point where Boaz remarks that he is aware of how she is a "woman of noble character"(verse 11). I have now taken this as a challenge. I want to be the woman that someday my future husband could say to me; "I love you because you are a woman of Godly character."

Anyone want to join me in this challenge? Let me know!

Ruth - Part 2

I think I'm suffering from a profound lack of creativity today. Rather, that along with a quite nonexistent attention span. Hopefully I can reign my brain back in from the million and three directions its going today.

Moving on, I was ecstatic to sign on today and see that you all have now raised 43 minutes of crisis and suicide prevention for To Write Love On Her Arms. I'm impressed by how quickly this number is rising. Kudos, all!

So down to business. (lack of creativity = intense writers block for me -.-)

Ruth Chapter 2

Synopsis: In this passage, Ruth begins to work to provide for Naomi and herself, since Naomi was advanced in years. She began the lowly job of gleaning grain in the fields of a man whom was a relative of her deceased husband. This was a job that was not promised any kind of return or wage. It depended solely on the favor of the owner of the land. The aforementioned relative was called Boaz, an upstanding and righteous man in the community. When he saw Ruth, he inquired as to who she was, and she found favor in his eyes, especially after he was told the story of how she chose to stay and take care of Naomi. At this he urged her to stay and glean in his fields and made the choice to take care of her, just as if she was one of his servant girls. Needless to say, when Ruth informed Naomi, a spark of hope arose in her heart.

Going Deeper: This passage itself is mostly cut and dry. To continue with the note on Hebrew name meanings yesterday, Boaz most likely translates to "In him is strength". Was this an allusion to spiritual strength? Physical strength? I'd like to think it meant both. Boaz is one of those biblical characters that somewhere deep down in the heart of a young woman like me wonders if men with integrity and traits like that actually still exist. Not only has the meaning of femininity been horridly perverted by the world, but its quite an accurate statement to say that the meaning of masculinity has been painfully perverted. Men today could learn a lot by studying men like Boaz.

Boaz was also a bit impressed by Ruth's character. It was not customary for a widow to stay with her mother in law after the loss of her husband; it was no longer her responsibility. Boaz respected Ruth for her strength of character and willingness to put others ahead of herself.

The job that Ruth chose was to glean the fields that Boaz owned. In biblical history, this was a job that was reserved for those who where "down on their luck" so to speak. This was often the source of food for the impoverished. In doing this, Ruth had the lowest standing of anyone in the fields, but Boaz in turn did not treat her as such. She inquires of him in verse 13; "You have given me comfort and have spoken kindly to your servant - though I do not have the standing of one of your servant girls." Boaz sees more than what meets the eye in Ruth, and treats her with favor, calling his workers to even drop extra grain to ensure that she is able to gather more than enough, and even calling him to sit with him and dine during meals.

Naomi's heart begins to grow with hope, because she is familiar with Boaz. Not only is he an upstanding man in the community and a relative, but he is also what is called a "kinsman redeemer". The kinsman redeemer, in short, is a relative that is responsible for welfare of the family members in need after the death of his relative. This includes marrying the widow of his passed relative.

One thing that stuck into my heart reading this, is the sudden turn of events. The first chapter of Ruth was filled with pain and disappointment, but it seems that God had quite a bit planned in the second chapter. Putting myself in Naomi and Ruth's situation, I feel that it would be a safe statement to say that they felt as if nothing would ever get better, that God was against them and their situation would never improve. Remember Naomi proclaiming that God Almighty was against her? That was the note that Ruth Chapter 1 ended on. Ruth Chapter 2 ends with Naomi's cold and desolate heart beginning to again bloom and grow with hope.

As I was writing this today, the song You Are For Me by Kari Jobe showed up on the shuffle in my itunes. If you have not heard this song, I urge to you listen to it.

So tonight I end sharing the song that accurately expresses the cry of my heart right now.

"So faithful

So constant

So loving and so true

So powerful in all you do

You fill me

You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me

I know that you are for me

I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness

I know that you have come down

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who you are

So patient

So gracious

So merciful and true

So wonderful in all you do

You fill me

You see me

You know my every move

You love for me to sing to you

I know that you are for me

I know that you are for me

I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness

I know that you have come down

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me that

I know that you are for me

I know that you are for me

I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness

I know that you have come down

Even if to write upon my heart

To remind me who you are

-Kari Jobe "You Are For Me"